Antique Persons Roadshow

​This is my ninety-three year-old aunt. What do you think she's worth?" asks Alicia Cooley as she points out attractive features on her elderly relative from St. Paul, Minnesota.

The expert, in this case a mutual fund manager for Dean-Witter, proceeds to analyze the aging woman's portfolio. "If we liquidate today, I estimate her value to be around $1.3 million. Were you expecting that much?"

"No, no," says the niece. "That's great! Better than I expected."

"Good," says the expert. "Next!"